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TL;DR

• Tipping is never mandatory, but most Germans do it.


• 
  5%-10% is most common, round up to a whole number, or to 50 ct if amount < 10€


• Not tipping does not automatically mean that you were unsatisfied, but could be a hint.

Should I tip?

In general, deciding whether or how much to tip is a subject of debate in Germany as well, just as in many other countries. But while non-tipping people are weird in the US, this is not the case in Germany.

Most people do tip, so that is "the norm", and often more than would be required, to avoid appearing stingy. But this tells you that its more about the perception by other people not because the servers need it. Nobody will approach you and ask what's wrong, if you don't tip.

Of course tips can make up a substantial part of the servers earnings but they are not vital, like in the US.

How much?

5%-10% is commonly accepted rate but can be raised to 15%. The most important factor is to make the amount a whole number by rounding it up. For low amounts below 10€ you can also round up (after tip) to the nearest 50ct.

If the bill says 16,60 €, you would pay 18 €, if you think the service was really good or you don't care about money you could do 19 €. Giving 20 € might come accross as showing off or trying to impress the (female) server. So don't overdo it.

What to say?

• If you don't say anything and just hand the server your money, they should give you the change to the cent. If they don't, this would be very rude and worth a complaint.




• If you want to tip, you just say the desired amount while you are handing him the money, e.g. Achtzehn, bitte. So, simply the amount followed by a "Bitte". He will give you change for the amount specified by you.




• If you have the desired amount handy, you just give him the 18 € and say "Stimmt so!" which informs the server that this is the correct amount you want to give and he does not have to give you anything back.

Why rounding up?

The tip is not seen as charity but serves to ease the transaction while also complimenting the person that took care of you.

Servers in Germany are not except from minimal wage and we have social security. You'll never be hungry or have no place to live if you don't work. Therefore, we do not feel that we need to contribute something to the servers wage. The tip is considered an extra.

Rounding up, eases the payment (less change to keep in your pocket + less math to do in your head) and serves as a "front" for the tip. It does not serve to secure the "survival" of the server, you are merely "to lazy" to do the math and don't mind giving a little extra while you are it.

Of course not everyone thinks about this with this much detail, but imho, this is the generalized German attitude towards tipping.

Others have explained how tipping works normally in Germany.

I'd like to add that what you describe would certainly be a reason for me to not tip at all, i.e. insist on my full change: refusing the correct change is just totally outside acceptable behaviour for a waiter.

And by the way, it is less usual but not unheard of to first get the full change and then hand over the tip.

This is similar to how tipping is done in small bakeries or at the village butcher's: they have a separate box for tips (or sometimes for donations to some other cause): the official cash register is for the exact price (and has to be correct to the cent), everything else has to go somewhere else. For waiters coming to the table it is too inconvenient to have 2 purses, but already the bar at the local sports club may have the cash box for sold goods/drinks and a separate tip box (typically donations to the kids/youth section)

Tipping is generally never mandatory in Germany, but the general etiquette is:

• Restaurants and bars where they bring you food and drink to the table: Yes
  


• Restaurants where you carry your food to the table yourself: No
  


• Bars where you carry your drink to the table yourself: Optional, but doing so can improve quality of service if you want another drink later.


• Food delivery services: Yes, unless they are late.


• Retail: No, but they sometimes collect change for charity. Participation is optional.


• Cab drivers: Optional
  


• Tour guides: Optional, when they ask for it


• Street performers: Optional, when you like them and they placed some container in front of them to throw change into. Do not give money to people who perform in a place where it is explicitly forbidden, like on a train for example. Do not enable rule breakers!


• Any government employee: Gets you arrested for attempted bribery
  

As other answers have pointed out, you usually tip by rounding the bill up to an even sum.

How much one tips also depends on the place; more in a restaurant where one sat at a table, less for takeout food, probably nothing in a bakery where one buys bread rolls. It is certainly possible to specify the tip when one hands over the money, as in "make it €15" when the bill says €14.20 (which would be on the stingy side).

In the example given above, €14.20, handing over €17 would imply that one intendeds it as tip, otherwise one would have given €15 ...

The behaviour of the waitress described is highly unusual for Germany. Were you at Oktoberfest or some other tourist trap location?

Tipping in Germany is not mandatory, though it is very common to round up for an effective tip around 10%. Note that we don't go by percents, we go by convenience. So if your bill is 28.30 Euros, you would typically give 30 and say "stimmt so" (which means roughly "fits like this", and indication that you don't expect change). If the bill is 29.60 Euros, you would typically give 30 plus a one or two Euro coin. We would never calculate exactly 10% and then add that.

However, I have only once in my entire life had a waiter or waitress not return exact change if not explicitly told "stimmt so" or something similar.

You absolutely do have a right to pay the exact amount on the bill, and a service person should not make a fuss about it. While tipping is highly common (almost everyone at least rounds up), if a waitress did not return me change upon me asking for it (your "Rückgeld"), I would ask for the manager.

I usually round up to the next Euro when under €10, to the next second or third Euro when under €25-30. After that approx. 10% but not more than €5 except service was extraordinary and outstanding.

If the service is below average (or prices are not reasonable), I don't tip since tip is actually already included in the price in Germany and Switzerland.

10% is the usual amount. But if you have cash, what you usually do is take the amount, and round it up. If your bill is €24.30, you leave €27 which is very close to 10%. If it is €24.90, you will see people thinking: Should I give €27 which is tight or €28 which is more generous?

Obviously more or less if the service was very good or very bad. No tip doesn't mean "not completely satisfied", it means it was so bad that you will never, ever come back. (I think I've done that once, when a friend and I ordered the same meal, and the bill was for 2x price of two meals = 4 meals instead of two).

Actually, in Bavarian we do not say "stimmt so", but we say "des basst a-so" or "des basst scho" or something alike "mach'ma 18", when rounding up to integer values (please don't ask me to explain the grammar of this assumed "we" form). There's even places, where they refuse the accept the rounded value - but return to the cent, no matter what you tell them (always depending on their policy).

If someone takes his/her own tip, this is highly incorrect and this place should better be avoided. the proper response might be "es Kratler", which roughly translates to "you punks". Bavarian is Daytsh, alike Yiddish is... that's why it tends to foul language, especially when it comes to incorrectness.

That would at least be a statement, which would communicate, that you're not a tourist.

Because: such scammers do assume, to see you once only and then never again.

Demanding to see the manager is not common for small amounts; but future avoidance is.

If wanting to argue, then demand the full change first and then leave them 10 cents as tip (as insult).

Which also implies, that tiny tips might be understood that way, in general.

As a rule of thumb, don't over-do it and don't under-do it. It should be fair, depending on the occasion, the amount of people which had been served (both important factors in gastronomy, which had not yet been stated) and the overall amount which had been charged, multiplied by the service quality provided (in a range from 0 to 1.5). Giving no tip at all is less likely to be understood as an insult, but when tipping a tiny amount, they might ask you what was wrong with the food or service (responding with an insult of a tip, to an insulting service-quality level); basically, that's a non-verbal inquiry for a service-quality suggestion to be asked for.

In Germany, not leaving any tip is telling you weren't satisfied with the service. You may do this, but it's very rude if you also tell in words you were satisfied.

The most common practice is to tip around 5%. Small orders 10%.